It’s a time period most of us bear in mind from the US sitcom F.R.I.E.N.D.S when Joey tells Ross he’s within the ‘friend zone’.

The problematic phrase, which is often utilized by heterosexual males when a girl does not return their romantic emotions, has made it into the on a regular basis vocabulary since then.

Now, a person in Singapore has reportedly sued a girl for S$three million (over Rs 18 crore) for rejecting his advances, citing “emotional trauma”.

What does the time period imply and why is it offensive? What is the case filed in Singapore? Let’s take a more in-depth look.

The ‘friend zone’ and its origins

The time period added to Oxford Dictionaries Online in 2013 is outlined as “a situation in which a platonic relationship exists between two people, one of whom has an undeclared romantic or sexual interest in the other”, reported HuffPost.

As Slate journal says, ‘friend zone’ holds the thing of the romantic emotions accountable, in contrast to unrequited love or crush which places the onus on the one that harbours these emotions.

Though the origin of this time period isn’t clear, Joey Tribbiani is credited for making it mainstream.

In the ‘The One With The Blackout’ episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S that aired in 1994, Joey tells Ross: “It’s by no means gonna occur. You and Rachel. You waited too lengthy to make your transfer and now you’re in The Friend Zone. Ross, you’re the mayor of the zone. I’m telling you, she has no thought what you’re considering.

“If you don’t ask her out soon, you’re gonna end up stuck in the zone forever,” he provides.

The time period has grow to be so rooted in common tradition that MTV aired a present on the buddy zone from 2011-2014.

Why the time period is offensive

Many, principally males, don’t bat a watch when saying to their associates that they’ve been ‘friend-zoned’.

The time period takes away the company of girls to take selections in regards to the romantic facet of their lives and blames them for not reciprocating the opposite individual’s emotions.

Meanwhile, an knowledgeable identified how the phrase is poisonous to males.

Michael Kimmel, the director of the Center for the Study of Men and Masculinities, instructed Mic in 2015 that “the friend zone is an extension of constrained gender norms and the need to constantly perform masculinity in front of other men”.

The time period ‘friend zone’ is poisonous even to males. Pixabay (Representational Image)

Calling the time period “face-saving”, he defined to Mic, “If you grow up learning that sex is adversarial — he chases, she is pursued; he gets, she gives — then how do you deal with what amounts to relegation to the losers’ bracket?”

Ryan Campinho Valadas, an integrative therapist at Self Space who identifies as queer, instructed Cosmopolitan UK in 2021 that the buddy zone comes from heterosexual norms that revolve round marriage and copy.

“Esther Perel, a famous psychotherapist and relationship expert, has written extensively about the changing value of marriage and romantic relationships in society,” he was quoted as saying by Cosmopolitan UK.

“To have a family and procreate, that is what societies have been built upon for centuries. We still very much live under the influence and the impact of those norms.”

What is the case filed by the Singapore man?

According to a report by the Singapore newspaper The Straits Times, a person recognized as Ok Kawshigan, filed two lawsuits in opposition to Nora Tan after she stopped all communication with him.

Kawshigan, a director at drone firm D1 Racing, sued Tan for S$three million case within the High Court alleging “damage to his stellar reputation” and “trauma, depression and impacts to his life” over the previous months.

In the second lawsuit, which was struck out by the Justice of the Peace’s courtroom earlier in January, Kawshigan demanded S$22,000 (Rs 14 lakh roughly) in damages for allegedly violating an settlement to enhance their relationship, reported Channel News Asia (CNA).

The courtroom stated the lawsuit was “manifestly groundless and without foundation” and a “calculated attempt to compel engagement” from Tan.

As per CNA, Kawshigan and Tan met in 2016 at a membership and finally turned associates.

In 2020, they began creating points as they weren’t on the identical web page about their friendship – with Tan contemplating Kawshigan solely a buddy and him seeing her as his “closest friend”.

Tan wished to cut back their interactions and instructed him about her “discomfort”, however Kawshigan requested her to conform together with his calls for to deepen their relationship or endure “irrevocable” injury to her private {and professional} life, reported The Strait Times.

Kawshigan’s counsellor then pressed Tan to attend periods which she agreed considering it could end in him understanding that she does not desire a romantic relationship.

Tan stopped attending the session one-and-a-half years later as she thought they have been futile, as per The Strait Times.

Kawshigan then filed a High Court declare in opposition to her in July final 12 months after Tan ceased all communication with him.

As per CNA, Tan has filed a countersuit of S$480 (about Rs 30,000 roughly) for the bills she made to guard herself from his alleged harassment. She has additionally filed one other lawsuit for S$1,000 (round Rs 63,000) for bills incurred whereas collaborating in counselling and “healing” periods at his request.

The pre-trial listening to for Kawshigan’s High Court lawsuit is slated for 9 February.

With inputs from companies

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